Happiness is Just a Pill Away

Depression and anxiety are very unpleasant things. It’s like waging a war against yourself, for yourself. 

It’s this monster inside of you, taking every ounce of energy you have to keep it caged up. When you are sad and express your sadness, you’d feel better after whereas when you are depressed, expressing that feeling of dread or agitation may not give you relief.  It’s that and a whole lot of other things; the amorous misery, aggression, panic and apathy, all in a turbulent alternating cycle. 

Sometimes, it would be better to just end it all. But even that, I lack the energy. 

I am okay. I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing when this cocktail of disorders is going to leave me for good. 

I am generally a happy person, I am just afflicted. And I think this is what some people don’t understand. Depression isn’t an “emo” thing. It’s clinical; serotonin, dopamine.. brain chemicals and reuptakes. 

 I am creating this space to tell everyone about my struggles. It may not give me relief but it distracts me from magnifying the trivial things, at the very least. 

From here on out, I promise not to feel ashamed and to take accountability for my mental condition. How others perceive it is irrelevant. I am getting rid of the stigma, one blog at a time.

~ Rochelle Villaflor

#fightthestigma #incurableempty